So I'm a Jerk

So i'm a jerk because i bailed out on living with Stella for the summer. i know she was counting on my rent money but i just can't afford it. i'm in a tough spot financially. i have to pay to live in the cities this summer, so i can stay here and work. i need to save up enough money to help pay for my china trip and also pay all my bills while i will be gone in china. so i have to save at least $200 for my credit card bill and phone bill and school loan interest. Plus it would be nice to have some money saved up for when i get back here, so i don't have to start at the bottom again.
So if i'm not living with Stella, then where am i going to live? well Faith, my field work supervisor at New Life, has a second bedroom in her apartment and said i could rent it. so i am meeting with Faith and Andrew (her husband) today to talk about expectations and such.
i feel awful that i bailed out on Stella but i think it will be good for us. Our friendship goes in waves. sometimes we are great and sometimes i think we need time off because we spent too much time together. i don't want o jeapordize our friendship through living together, i also don't want to jeapordize our frienship by being untrustworthy either. i am just in a lose/lose situation right now.

Lord,
Grant me forgiveness for the wrongdoings that i have done to my friends. Please let them forgive me for my wrongdoings. Lord, bless my friendships and my time spent here this summer. watch over me and guide me to make the right decisions so that i may fulfill your will for me.
Amen